New Years Day post from Simon

Hey there,

Thanks for all your wonderful Birthday wishes and mails. (His Birthday was on the 27th I think) If you were picturing me weeping little Simony tears on the big ole streets of Cairo for I was all alone in the world then fret not - the hotel threw me a Birthday party with cake and lots of baklavy like things, and a candle that said 2 and one that said 9. Loads of people I didn't know came; for me, I'm sure, and not the cake.

It was actually a really sweet thing of them to do - especially as they chewed into their own pocket for it - and left me with a warm glow and a disconcerting sugar high. Some might know that both Tom & Sarah have issues with me 'not really being a desert person', but the sweets out here are awesome - the best I've had. I've actually been craving them, though now the very thought of them makes me a little queezy so I'll probably lay off them for a bit.

So, how's Cairo? It's really amazing. It's got a real vibe to it which seems to grab everyone immediately. I'd heard such stories of dread from whingeing ex-pats that I was wondering just how busy/polluted/crazy it could be, and the answer is a bit like London before the congestion charge, with older, dirtier cars. Crossing the road is an exciting game but if you position someone with a kid between you and the oncoming traffic then it's easy, though it does take the fun out of it somewhat. Some of the roads are pretty tranquil as well, like Ecclesall road when it's not the weekend.

In fact, the really mental part is the pedestrian(ish) parts between downtown, and the so-called Islamic Cairo - basically the historic part from the Islamic age, as opposed to Old Cairo which is before that. Islamic Cairo itself teeters on the edge of touristification, especially in the gentrified bits. But it is astonishing walking down essentially medieval streets, surrounded by mosques, madressas, karavanserais and old ottoman houses - history is very present, even if in some streets you see more tourists than locals. Between there and Downtown where the Hotels are there is a frantic mess of market streets where real Cairenes come to shop. Some of the traders have turned selling into a performance art, with genuine screams, claps and group chants, whilst someone beats time wildly on shirts still in their packages, and another tosses silks expansively in the air. Anyone who thinks Muslims are a threat to capitalism would do well to remember that Muhammed was a merchant, and consumerism here has a whif of the divine.

I squashed my way through these streets the first time, burled about and bouyant in the streams that form in the too and fro. The current took me as I would, and fearing I'd gone too far pressed round the same few hundred square metres looking for what I sought - instead I seem to have found the Christian cobblers souq, which was pretty fascinating in its own right. It appears there's a small community of Christians there who just make shoes. I decided to retreat, though, and it was only on my second foray that I realised I hadn't gone very far at all the last time, but the churning back and forth had made me feel I'd gone miles.

That's something I do find quite unusual here, but which I actually quite like. Cairo makes me lost. None of the streets in Downtown are quite at right angles, and they all bend e v e r so imperceptibly, so that although you think everything is normal it very much isn't. Even today, when I was sure I had it all mapped out, someone moved one of the bits I'd been to many times before. It's quite a pleasing sensation. I actually find Islamic Cairo much easier to navigate because the twists and turns make wibbly wobbly sense, in Downtown they sneak them in under a facade of normalness.

Christmas was a great day as well. I went to see their Philharmonic String Quartet play for free at an Art Gallery - unfortunately they left all the video art playing on full volume and it rather interferred with the quiet bits. They had lured me in with rumours of Schubert, but I was disappointed to be faced with a Beethoven double bill. However, in another 'generally agreed world beating genius not as shit as you thought they were' shock I really enjoyed the first piece - it would seem I prefer his earlier, Mozartian stuff before he got a bit carried away, like.

I then went to one of the local bars afterwards, which is straight out of Mahfouzes descriptions of bars in the 50s, all bright flourescent lights, cackling, wonky locals and wooden fittings. They give you these plates of disgusting lupin seeds to munch on, and for some reason I feel quite compelled to do so. They're slimy with a glutinous shell you nibble off and discard, before eating the wet, crunchy, and ultimately tasteless, centre. But it makes more sense than munching your way through a plate of rocket, or slightly over ripe tomato chunks. The bar staff seem to live it up as much as the regulars, and there's the odd sing-song and banter.

My final destination that night (for the complete Christmas experience), was to a belly dancing bar. In the big hotels, Gulf Arabs pay hundreds of dollars to see the superstars move with a sublime graciousness in this ancient art form. I paid a tenner for 4 beers and some lady wrestlers to shake their bits a bit.

The room was old Orientalist fantasia, with pictures of sultans and slave girls and red velvet curtains which could have been a lot cleaner. Th staff were single minded in their pursuit of tips - one followed me into the toilet and stood behind me mumbling "tips, tips, tips", like Crack addicts were rumoured to do when we were kids.

The ladies themselves seemed to be getting through the night by blowing their tips up their nose, unless the glassy eyes came from trying to shut out the dingy scene. Apart from some fairly severe push up bras, the costumes weren't too titilating; many were wearing body stockings so there wasn't much belly on offer. In fact, I've seen much more on rare visits to Kingdom (and am more embarrassed to admit to having been there). The only thing I found a bit disturbing was when one man, instead of throwing his money in the air in a fit of excitement, placed it carefully on one ladies head - that just seemed a bit sordid. But then, exploitation is like art, in that it doesn't matter what the content is, it's the fact that you're all witnessing it as such which makes it so.

The best part of the evening was the band. They had 2 drummers and a tambourinist - he had a few solos which were better than anyone could have imagined. The main drummer looked like he was on one; at one point whilst he waited impatiently for the bloke in the suit to do some introductions he started knocking out the Amen break, so I'm pretty sure he was loving it old skool. He got into raptures as he beat out the rythyms, it was some of the best live music I've seen out here. Unfortunately any live singing was slothered in reverb to an almost painful level.

I have a couple of favourite Ahwas now. One is totally authentic, with chess, shoeshine men, sawdust floors, peeling paint and marble table tops, but you can get beer in it as well, and check your e-mails on wi-fi. T'other is down a little back alley and every wall is covered in these weird naive paintings of just about everything - Pharonic stuff, ballet, English fields.

Sarah has come out to visit me and we've been playing Backgammon there, drinking tea and SaHlab, this lovely milky, semolina-ey, nutty, fruity drink, so we've been kicking our evenings Arabic stylee. For New Year she brought some wine out which was like a merciful peice of heaven - who could have guessed I'd missed it so much? - and there was a guy who'd got some puff in the hostel so we all had a merry old time. We went to a rooftop bar for midnight, then watched their sheesha guy dance round and round in a santa hat. It was a great night.

All in all, it's been great here - the city is so alive and vibrant, I'd highly recommend that all of yu try and visit it at some point. There's 20 million inhabitants, and all of them seem to be in the street, either driving or just chilling with their friends. There's always something going on.

Happy New Year to you all, and a Merry Christmas. I'm sorry I haven't replied to any e-mails for ages. I'll try and do that over the next few days before we head out into the desert for a bit. I massively love getting them hugely so please keep sending them.

Make sure you all stick together to ride out the Credit crunchy, and can you do something about the falling value of the pound? Keep warm, with the glow of my love inside you if nothing else.

Happy thoughts,

Simon